Here's a tool for solving any upset:
"While it is commonly believed to take two to make a fight, a third party must exist and must develop it for actual conflict to occur." -- L. Ron Hubbard

...

Too many times in the past I have experienced a real upset with a person, or I have seen others in a real upset, only to discover that there was a hidden person who was instigating the upset. Once I discovered this and it was known, the upset vanished and things went back to normal.